We believe that we are responsible first and foremost for our own happiness. Then when we are happy, we have the special opportunity to share with our spouse the source of that happiness. Ironically, at times it may be something that our spouse did that "made us happy". But being happy is still our responsibility. For example, snuggling with Julie Beth last night made me really happy. However, could I have had another reaction? Sure… I could have been annoyed if say, I wanted to watch TV instead or if I thought that she was being "too needy".
When I view myself as being responsible for my happiness I have no reason to be annoyed or angry with Julie Beth when I am unhappy. Further, I don't need to waste any of my energy wishing or hoping that my wife will be different. Instead when I am unhappy, I start looking at myself to figure out what I am doing wrong. It prevents a lot of resentment from building up between the two of us.
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